I Never Know What To Say.

I just lose it. I might be able to chose words that rhyme well, and set up pretty sentences. I can use frills and ornaments, and make poetic remarks until the sun sinks under the ocean. But when it comes down to something real, I never know which words to use. They fall out of my mouth awkwardly and hit the floor with a *thud* at the moment I most need them to soar- at the moments when someone needs me. I cannot express empathy or sympathy through my words. I stutter and stammer and babble on with useless cliches until I finally embarrass myself into silence. I can't stand it. I hate seeing people I love upset and not being able to do anything about it. I wish I always knew what to say. I wish I had answers and advice for everyone who ever needed me, and I wish I could say it in a way that made sense and could make them feel better. I wish I knew what they wanted to hear, and I wish I knew what they needed to hear, and I wish I knew how to combine the two into a piece of wonderful wisdom. But sadly enough, it's beyond me, and I suppose I'll have to live with it. However, please know, if I'm silent, it's not because I don't understand what you're going through or because I don't want to 'deal with it'. I'm standing there thinking, and wishing I could say what I was feeling at the moment. But I'll stand there, and I'll tell you what I tell everyone.Really and truly though, I mean it. All of those useless cliches may be banal, but they're still tried and true. It really IS okay, and I really AM here for you if you need to talk. I truly DO support you, and you truly ARE a wonderful, amazing, beautiful person- you wouldn't be my friend if you weren't. But most of all, you WILL make it through this and be stronger for it. I promise, heart and soul. And even if you've heard it a million times from a million different people, I mean it with all of the sincerity, honesty, and empathy in my being, and I apologize many times over for not being able to say it with more grace. I love all of you, and I am absolutely certain you can face whatever life hands you with courage, grace, and determination- just keep a center of peace and happiness.