*Sigh*

Do you ever just get those texts from people that melt you into a puddle? I swear, the first show of emotion. That took a while to get there, but I swear. That was one fo the the best compliments I have ever recieved in my life. :) And do you ever have these REALLY BIG, GIGANTIC, WONDERFUL secrets that you're DYING to tell everybody, but can't? It can really drive you to extremes, like talking out loud to trees or stars or stuffed animals. But it makes everything sweeter too, because nobody knows. Ahh, this week has been the best. There was that one really awful day, but then everything skyrocketed and now I couldn't be happier. :) I've found another lexical gap- what's the opposite of food?! :o if something's not food, it's... what?? AHH! Help me bridge it!
I can't think of a suitable toppic for tonights blog! Other than paperwork, and the fact that it is massively time consuming and altogether difficult. :/

I Look For Lexical Gaps and Dead Bodies in my Spare Time... in your pants.

So, I have been fairly lazy for the past few weeks. Ever since that crazy trip to Florida, which disrupted my writers flow, I've lost all of my motivation. But HEY, sucks for me, because I have Liam sitting here yelling at me about how I should not be a nast little hypocrite, telling people all of this "I do not write for myself, but for others" stuff and then backing out on them. To which I generally flick him off of my shoulder and go eat some ice cream. But finally tonight, I've decided to listen to him. I was talking to my mother about the topics for this blog, and discussed how I'm going to give you all an ironic blog, because I'm tired of writing about serious things. She replied that technically, the blog is more satirical than ironic. And TECHNICALLY, she's right. But I happen to like describing it as ironic, so this blog is satirical, but disguised as ironic.  Like, the satire in it is Superman, and we're using the word irony to be the Clark Kent and disguise it poorly. But anyway, on to the actual blog topic. Some people play "I spy", or "Where's Waldo", or something along those lines. I have a somewhat more interesting way to spend long car rides with friends. We look for dead bodies. Or, more specifically, the best place to stash them. The only rule is that every dumpster holds at least one dead body. It's required. But other places are somewhat more creative. We've found stretches of forest, abandoned strip malls, gosh, they're everywhere. No serial killers could ever pull one over on ME! I know all of their dump sites. Yes, it's a rather morbid game. But also a good way to occupy time. Try it out sometime, you'll be amazed at how creeped out you can get. o.0
But another, slightly less creepy way to occupy time, is to look for lexical gaps. This is a trick I learned fron Hank Green, one of the amazing Vlog Brothers. (Hilarious vlogs, I laughed until I cried. RECOMMENDED.) A lexical gap is a word for when there should be a word for something, but there isn't. Take shallow. There is no word for shallow in Romanian. :o instead, you have to use 'not so very deep'. What a pain, what a lexical gap! So, you can sit down with all of your favorite adjectives (or even discriptive nouns or verbs), and try to come up with antonyms for them. If you can't, you've found a LEXICAL GAP! Now, this may sound boring, but once you start, it's hard to stop. And when you find a lexical gap, you always want to plug it. Take the example they used. Virgin. Well, what's the word for when someone is no longer a virgin? There ISN'T one in english! (but ironically, there is one in Romanian.) So, let's bridge the gap- virgout.Thumbs up if you think that is as hilariously brilliant as I do.
Another point the Vlog Brothers brought out is that every single book title you have in your house sounds funny if you add 'in your pants' to the end of it. <3
examples:
"the unspeakable crime of andrea yates in your pants."
"little women in your pants"
"the lovely bones in your pants"
:o i won't even comment on those, but you'll see that it works just as well with any other titles you can think of. :)
And, that's really all I have in my system as far as writing goes tonight. I'm getting kind of sleepy, and have deided that although it is only eleven, i will go to bed, because A) the person that I want to text me has in fact stopped texting me and B) i don't sleep during the week, so my weekend is my catch-up time. So, I'm off, and I'm sure Liam will do his best to yell at me and make sure you guys get another blog tommorow. Love.

I Looked Into Your Eyes, Thought I Knew You For A Mintue, Now I'm Not So Sure.

What am I even supposed to do? I could be angry. I could let you have it; I could tell you how they were right, how I should have listened to you and everyone else. I could scream at you, asking you how dare you ask me to do something as shallow as to pick you over my friend, how dare you be so callous as to stomp on my feelings like they were nothing more than a few pathetic ants, scurrying around helplessly. I could tell you that I never meant to like you, and tell you that you could have maybe at least pretended to politely move on about it. But I care about you too much. You're too sensitive for that (even though you'd die if you heard me say that), and I can't stand to hurt you any more than I apparently already have. Has it ever occured to you that I'm a person too? Do you lack any empathy towards anyone but yourself? Or do I just put out the 'together' persona so well that you don't believe me when I tell you I'm confused and hurt? I guess you never believed me. I always loved you, on some very basic level. Not 'in love'. It wasn't like that. But you always appealed to me. I don't know why. At first, you were condescending; you were harsh; you were unemotional. But I soon realized that was always on the outside. The more I got to know you, the more I saw it. That other side of you, the side that could be silly, or sweet, or thoughtful. And that appealed to me. I could always tell. The Mr.Hyde in you would come out the more you felt threatened, and I loved the Dr. Jekyll in you so much that I would open up and be vulnerable, and patient with you. That did me in. I always have my walls up, with almost everyone. And I guess... I donn't get it. I don't understand the attachment to you. I don't understand why, I never, ever, have. And when you started to let me in, to let me see a little bit about you, too, I was so excited. But I guess we never knew each other, did we? We knew what the other wanted to say. We're too much like each other, on some basic level, to really understand each other. We keep just enough about our feelings and intentions hidden that the other is always guessing, and that's never a good formula. I don't get why it hurts so much that you're so mad. I guess it's because I don't understand it. I don't even know WHY you're mad at me. Is it because I won't stop being friends with her? Because I don't think that's all it is. But I don't know what the rest of it is, because you won't tell me, and that's just how you are. Was I too honest? Did I feel too much? You said things are going to be different, and I can't help but agree.

I am so drugged out

on migrane medication, I really don't even know what I'm typing right now. I hate these, but they keep me from ripping my head off to aviod the pain, so I guess I'll live with them. I had to take them before vacay too, and two this month seems rather unfair, but it is what it is. But seriously guys, I'm loopy. So take anything I say with that in mind. I had a few alright topics in mind to blog about from my week in Orlando, but they all seem too philosophical for druggy me. But to give you a small glimpse at what is to come, a few of the ideas were 'time', 'growing', 'the seven spiritual laws of success', and ' your purpose in life'. Hah, yeah right, my brain is in no shape to process any of those. SO instead, I am going to let you read the first little part of a story I've been trying to write for about a year now. I have to plotline and everything, but lack the motivation to make it into an honest to Buddha story. So if any of you like it, and want to know what happens, hop on my case about finishing it. Haha. If not, enjoy this here snippet:

Trey stared deep into Jenna's big brown eyes, pleading silently with his own blue-green ones, continuing the argument that had been going on for several weeks now.
"Babe, please? It'll only be for the summer, and I'll be back long before the wedding. This is the last trip I can take with Skye and it still be considered 'appropriate'." he begged.
"We're engaged." she insisted. "It's not appropriate now."
"Jenna, she's my best friend. She has been since we were in MIDDLE SCHOOL! Do you really blame her for wanting one last trip with me before I go off, get married, and move to London, leaving her here to fend for herself?" Trey cajoled, trying to appeal to Jenna's sympathy.
"We both know good and well that Skye is perfectly capable of 'fending for herself'. That blonde mantrap just wants you to herself so she can change your mind about the engagement." Jenna sniffed. "She's hated me since the beginning."
Trey mentally laughed before answering, knowing that Jenna wouldn't have even known the line 'blonde mantrap' if it weren't for Skye. It was from Skye's favorite movie of all time, Gentleman Prefer Blondes. Skye was the one who made him sit down and show it to Jenna to begin with. But just as fast as the moment of good humor came, it was gone, being replaced by a cloud of annoyance.
"Jenna! We. are. just. FRIENDS. Skye's practically a sister!" he practically shouted. "And she never hated you, not until you acted all jealous and gave her a reason to!" He sighed, putting his hand to his face. He knew if he wanted to change Jenna's mind that listing her flaws and Skye's virtues was not the way to do it.
"Besides," he murmered, sliding his hands around her waist, "Do you think she could change my mind even if she wanted to?" He smiled his mischevious simle, the one he knew she loved, and turned on the full force of his eyes. He leaned in, inches away from her face, and whispered "I love you, Jenna. Nothing can change that." He finally closed the last bit of a gap, softly and persuasively pressing his mouth to hers. After a second, he pulled away and whispered, "Please?" into her ear.
"Arghhhhhh!" she growled pushing him away, her face a mask of annoyance and adoration. "Fine, fine, do whatever you want!"
"Are you sure?" he asked, triumphant and teasing. "I wouldn't want to upset you..."
"No! I want you to go!" she muttered irritably, rolling her eyes. "Whatever makes you happy."
"Thank you babe!" he exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear as he swooped her up in his arms and kissed her again, but this time more passionately and longer.
"Put me down!" She exclaimed breaking away from the kiss. She was trying to act like she was still annoyed, but the fact that she was laughing now meant that she was going to let him take the trip.
"I'll call you every night, and be home before you know it." he winked. "Now I'm going to go call Skye and make plans, and you can go pick out a pretty little white dress."
Jenna smiled widely. "Hey, since you're gonna be gone with Skye, is it okay if I have Matt over to spend a few days? He's really upset that Summer broke up with him, and I was hoping I could help cheer him up."
"Of course, babe. I know I can trust you." he said, winking. "See? I didn't make you beg yourself prideless."
Jenna smacked him, smiling. "Shut up, I'm letting you go, aren't I?"
Trey smiled at her, and pushed her onto the bed, tickling her. Jenna shrieked and giggled, and when he finally stopped, he pulled her against him and kissed her forehead. "Love you Jen."
She stared up at him, smiling. "Love you too." She snuggled into his chest, and then gently fell asleep against him, listening to his strong heartbeat.
***
Trey sped down the long gravel driveway, and pulled the car to a stop in front of a uniformly tan house in the middle of five acres of woods. He threw his car door open and jumped out, exclaiming, "Skye! I can go!"
The girl laying on a lawnchair sunning in the driveway sat up, her blonde layers disheveled from laying down, and took off her sunglasses. The turquoise of her swimsuit accentuated her striking blue eyes perfectly, and a huge smile lit up her face.
"Really?" she gasped. "How'd you convince the wombat?" Skye giggled.
"Don't call her that." Try said automatically, and dismissively, as if he'd already said it a thousand times before, which, if he was honest with himself, it was probably more along the lines of a million. "I just turned on the charm." He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes.
"Because you couldn't have thought of that back in June, when I first got the idea?" she said, standing up and stretching like a cat.
"Hmph. Brat." he narrowed his eyes at her playfully.
She giggled again, skipping over to him and hugging him. "But that's why you looove me!"
Trey could smell the cocunut scented oil she had put on in an effort to tan, and he pulled away, tousling her hair. "More like in spite of it."
Skye stuck her tongue out, then poked him in the side, making him jump. He yelped, and she made a face.
"I swear, you make the most awkward noises."

A letter about nobody.

Yes, THAT nobody. All good things must come to an end (not really, but this one did) and every love letter gets a breakup letter to counteract it, until it doesn't. So, yes, this is about my dearest nobody, sent to a friend who was going through a breakup at that time as well and thought I didn't understand what he was going through. NOTE: It didn't take me four years, and it didn't take the friend four years. so, chin up everyone. keep moving, keep living, and you will live. <3

I don't get your situation? You don't know how well I get your situation. Trust me. There's a whole long story that I could use to prove it to you, but I won't go there because it doesn't matter anymore. But I know. I know that it can hurt so badly every time you see their face that you can't breathe, and you almost want to just curl up in a ball and die because you can't have them anymore and all you want to do is be next to them and everything be perfect again. You fall asleep thinking about them and when you wake up and remember that they aren't there anymore, you hurt all over again. When you revisit the site of the first kiss over and over again just to replay it in your mind and hurt some more. And you torture yourself with thoughts of what could have been and find a thousand new ways for your heart to break every day. I KNOW. But I also know this is highschool. And it won't last forever. Even if I have to deal with it every single day for the next four years. I will eventually be in college, thousands of miles away from him where I can't think about it. Because as much as it would hurt, it would be better than having to live with him ignoring me and me wishing I could change his mind. Because as much as I want to change his mind, I know I can't. And if I think I'm going to be stuck like this forever, I feel like it's not even worth getting out of bed in the morning. I have to have something to get me through the day, and if that's the future, so be it.

Some of my favorite quotes.

So, I'm aware I just posted this on facebook. But, because these are so awesome, they deserve a DOUBLE POST! <3 So, yeah. Here you go, some of the best quotes EVER.


"Things are pretty, graceful, rich, elegant, handsome, but, until they speak to the imagination, not yet beautiful."- Emerson




"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -Buddha



"I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle." -Marilyn Monroe



"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one." -Marilyn Monroe



"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere."- Marilyn Monroe



"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond." -Mae West



"If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning." -Mae West



"The earth has music for those who listen."- William Shakespeare



"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are." -Houssaye



"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." -Ingrid Bergman



"A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness." -Robert Frost



"Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form." -Rumi



"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." -Rumi



"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet." -Rumi



Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass

the world is too full to talk about." - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"The minute I heard my first love story,

I started looking for you, not knowing

how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi (The Illuminated Rumi)



"You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?" -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Dance, when you're broken open. Dance, if you've torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you're perfectly free." - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Two there are who are never satisfied -- the lover of the world and the lover of knowledge." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi (El Masnavi)



"I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Who could be so lucky? Who comes to a lake for water and sees the reflection of moon." - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Reason is powerless in the expression of Love." - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"The universe and the light of the stars come through me." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about things going badly. Let the lover be. " - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi (Essential Rumi)



"Here is a relationship booster

that is guaranteed to

work:

Every time your spouse or lover says something stupid

make your eyes light up as if you

just heard something

brilliant." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Because I cannot sleep i make music in the night" - Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go." -Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi



"Inspiration comes in the middle of the night when you should be doing homework."- Amy Lee



"If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through- what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?" - Marilyn Monroe



"You can love someone so much...But you can never love people as much as you can miss them." -John Green



"Anything that happens all at once is just as likely to unhappen all at once." John Green (Will Grayson, Will Grayson)



"Some people have lives; some people have music." -John Green

Right v. Wrong

Disclaimer: I get fairly philosophical is this one, so if it's not your cup of tea, just skip this one. And do NOT comment on this telling me I'm wrong, becaue that would mean that you're missing the whole point.

Okay, so this is one of my favorite topics. What is right? And what about wrong? You probably have a pretty good idea of your own opinons on this subject. Things you think are correct, good, and true, and things you veiw as incorrect, bad, and wrong. But, truly, where is the dividing ling between what is REALLY right and what is REALLY wrong? As in, the things that are truly in the laws of the universe, right and wrong. The problem with this question is, it varies, depending on the situation and personal beliefs. Let's go with a simple example here. Most people who read this blog would agree that killing someone is wrong. From a Christian perspective, this statement SHOULD hold up. There's even a commandment- "Thou shalt not kill." But, if killing is wrong, are soliders who fight for our country in the same ranks as Ted Bundy? What about people who are attempting to defend themselves from being killed? Why aren't they all locked up in jail? Killing people is wrong, right? And looking at it from an Eastern point of view- in many countries, people believe in the Law of Retaliation- if someone kills one of your family members, you are entitled to kill them. It sounds horrifying to many Americans, but to them, it's wrong not to retaliate. So, it's wrong not to kill someone? And what about things? If you can't kill a human, should you kill anything? Should we all be vegetarians? It should be straight up. Killing people is wrong. Well, but maybe it isn't. Depending on who you are. Another example- stealing. Most people would believe stealing is wrong. You're taking from other people, like a parasite. But what if you must? What if you had to to feed your family? If you lived in a poor country, would taking enough bread from someone who had a surpluss, simply to keep your children from starving, if there was no other way, wrong?  And again, what if you live on the streets? What if it's what you've grown up around, your entire life? You believe it's right. So, to you it's right. To me it's wrong? Which one of us is correct??? Well, to be honest, we all are. Right and wrong are concepts the human mind made up to make order and sense out of this world. Most people prefer a black and white, a good and bad, a right and wrong. But there isn't black and white. There's only shade of gray, personal opinions, ideas. Right and wrong is entirely personal, depending on your beliefs. They aren't the same for everyone. What's right for me may not be right for you, and what's right for you may not be right for me. No two people are exactly alike. It's not about right and wrong, truly. It's about right for me, and wrong for me. It's all an idea. Take for example, gay marriage. I would never participate in that lifestyle, because it's wrong for me. But I can graciously accept the fact that it might be right for other people.  It's all personal. One of my favorite quote is by Rumi- "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about."  It's so true. When you let go of all of your preconcieved notions and are open to what the universe wants to tell you, the world does become too full to talk about. You are more aware and happier. Don't base your beliefs on what someone tells you- a predefined set of values. Search for truth, and wherever you find it, take it and apply it to your life. You'll know what's truly right for you and truly wrong for you- because it will bring you lasting joy. Not superficial happiness, but real, true joy down to your core. You're happy, because you're living what you believe. Just be open to everything you hear, and don't judge. Concern yourself with your own pursuit of happiness, not other's. It's not your responsibility to decide their standards for them. It's all preference anyway. You don't get mad at someone if they have a different favorite color. You don't try to make them believe that your favorite color is the best color. You accept that you both have different tastes and let it go. Why is it so easy with colors, and yet more difficult than anything to be open to the  fact that other people have different religious and moral ideas than you? It doesn't make any sense to try to make other people adhere to your values. Everyone has the right to their own opinion. REMEMBER, it may be wrong to you, but to them, it may be the rightest thing in the world. And the glorious thing happes to be that you are both right. 

My Bucket List.

This was written about 2 years ago, so the ones with (X)'s are obviously, the ones I have completed since then. :)Before I die, I want to...




-Love someone unconditionally and have them love me back

-Act in a movie

-Record a cd and have it sell billions of copies

-Look in a mirror and love everything about myself, even my flaws

-Go skydiving

-Take a cross country trip to california and live in my car

-Stand on top of the eiffel tower

(X) Meet ryan ross

(X) Watch the sunrise with someone special

-Walk the entire appalachian trail

-Write a book

-Get organized and stay that way

-Develop my own handwriting and make it pretty

-Learn how to play the drums

(X) Love my friends

(X) Watch a lightning storm and appreciate it's beauty instead of being afraid

-Make an outfit and wear it

-Ride the aerosmith rockin roller coaster 100 times in a row

(X)Write a song that helps someone

-Adopt a little girl

-Let go of my grudges

-Visit egypt

(X) Forgive myself

-Re-enact the romantic scenes of the notebook with someone I love

-Kiss in the rain

-Make someone's day

-Write a song that makes people cry

-Paint a house

-Read the entire Lord Of the Rings Series

(X) Stop being afraid of the dark

-Sleep under the stars

-Jump into a pile of leaves in the fall

-Sew a quilt

(X) Get kissed

-Learn to do a backflip on the trampoline

-Buy a pet snake

-Dye my hair a crazy color

-Climb a really tall tree and just sit there for a while, thinking about life.

-Learn tae-bo

-Listen to nothing but instrumental music for one week

-Love everyone

(X) Think positively

-Fight for something I believe in

-Create a charity for kids with autism

-Read all of shakespeare's plays

-Learn how to do a split

-Paint a picture and hang it on my wall

-Rock someone's world

-Be someone's purpose for living.

-Steal a street sign.

-Spend the night in a cemetery.

-Move on from things that are holding me back

(X)Live in the moment

-Drive to Utah with Elsie and eat at the beehive place.

-Add to this list!

I Never Know What To Say.

I just lose it. I might be able to chose words that rhyme well, and set up pretty sentences. I can use frills and ornaments, and make poetic remarks until the sun sinks under the ocean. But when it comes down to something real, I never know which words to use. They fall out of my mouth awkwardly and hit the floor with a *thud* at the moment I most need them to soar- at the moments when someone needs me. I cannot express empathy or sympathy through my words. I stutter and stammer and babble on with useless cliches until I finally embarrass myself into silence. I can't stand it. I hate seeing people I love upset and not being able to do anything about it. I wish I always knew what to say. I wish I had answers and advice for everyone who ever needed me, and I wish I could say it in a way that made sense and could make them feel better. I wish I knew what they wanted to hear, and I wish I knew what they needed to hear, and I wish I knew how to combine the two into a piece of wonderful wisdom. But sadly enough, it's beyond me, and I suppose I'll have to live with it. However, please know, if I'm silent, it's not because I don't understand what you're going through or because I don't want to 'deal with it'. I'm standing there thinking, and wishing I could say what I was feeling at the moment. But I'll stand there, and I'll tell you what I tell everyone.Really and truly though, I mean it. All of those useless cliches may be banal, but they're still tried and true. It really IS okay, and I really AM here for you if you need to talk. I truly DO support you, and you truly ARE a wonderful, amazing, beautiful person- you wouldn't be my friend if you weren't. But most of all, you WILL make it through this and be stronger for it. I promise, heart and soul. And even if you've heard it a million times from a million different people, I mean it with all of the sincerity, honesty, and empathy in my being, and I apologize many times over for not being able to say it with more grace. I love all of you, and I am absolutely certain you can face whatever life hands you with courage, grace, and determination- just keep a center of peace and happiness.

One Of My Favorite Songs, Covered By One Of The Most Talented People I Know.

So, I first saw Dane at an audtion for the HC talent show. He was trying out with the song Benny and The Jets, and I was absolutely blown away by his sheer talent. We had a few mutual friends, but I didn't really see him again until driver's ed class- where, lo and behold, I found out that not only was he fantastically talented, but he was a genuinely nice person. By the time he flew back onto my radar again, hearing him at the mexican place on Eagles Landing Friday, I was convinced I had to share his music with all of the wonderful and amazing readers of my blog. I don't normally use my blog for solicitation, but really and truly, he is absolutely amazing and I think you'll benefit from hearing his music.  So, without further explanation, here is the video- Dane Hildreth, covering Drops of Jupiter by Train. :)

Like this? Like it on facebook too. :) http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Dane-Hildreth/101183839938309?ref=ts

A Love Letter To Someone Who Used to Be Somebody, But Now They're Just Nobody.

Because I am far too lazy to actually write a blog today off the top of my head, after having been at school for something like 13 hours, what I am typing now was written in the past- maybe 4 years ago, maybe two months ago, maybe some time in between. This is where the not-honesty part comes in. I will say that the irony in this is that I was right on every count, and also wrong on every count. Oh well. It sure sounds pretty. My love letter to nobody:
I see you. I'm looking at you from across the room, sneaking glances when I think you aren't looking.I'm hiding this note from the people sitting around me, even though there aren't any names on it, even though nobody could ever guess who it's about unless they knew me well enough to read my mind. Haha, that's a joke though. No one knows me that well- no one ever does. But still- if someone reads it, it might break the spell. I lied when I said that shirt looks especially good on you. Everything looks good on you- there has ceased to be an 'especially' when it comes to you. I can't belive it; it shouldn't be possible how magical you are. The artifical lights are out, and the sun from the small window behind you is hitting your face at an angle, lighting up half of your beautiful features- the planes of the face, the color of your eyes, the shine of your hair. Half of your face is in the shadows, but instead of taking away from your incomprehensible otherworldliness, it adds depth and meaning to your face... and god, you're beautiful. All I want is to be back on the couch all snuggled up to you where I can listen to you breathing and feel your heartbeat. And I'm so scared. I'm terrified, really. I don't want this to end. I don't want this to turn out like everything else, all screwed up and me wishing it never happened. I want to listen to you talk, to hear your opinion on every little thing and never get bored. I want to make you happy and cheer you up when you're having a bad day. I want you to hold my hand when I want to cry. I want to see you smile and feel my soul fly. I want months and months and months of stupid movies curled up on the couch together ahead of us. Really, I want an 'us' period. I think that simply being in your orbit, simply knowing you exist is enough to give me enough hope to at least try to get through this crazy thing called life, at least for a little while. I can't explain it to you, it just is. I'm around you, and I'm the person I want to be. I look at you, and I can't see anything else. I hear your voice, and my favorite song sounds flat and emotionless by comparison. I'm next to you, and there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. I hope that one day, I can give you at least part of the happiness you've given me.
Sincerely,
nobody, as well.

I was BORN a writer- and this was my FIRST POEM EVER.

So, I am aware I have already written today's blog. But as I was going through my bookshelf, I found an extremely old diary of mine, and thought you all might enjoy some of my 5 year old poetry. NOTE AS TO THE SUBJECT OF THE POEM. The Hobbit was the first novel I ever read (with the help of my father), and I was really super obsessed with it for a while.
Okay, here goes, in exact replica- spelling errors (*cringe*) and all.

A hobbit Halloween Powum!
The Spiders skrem on Holloween
as the hobbits dress with frigt.
everey thing is not normel
on Holloween nigt!


*sigh* Once a poet, always a poet. Frigt and nigt are supposed to be fright and night, I believe, and I think you can figure out the rest. Ah, I want to go back in time and give little me some spehleeng typz.

Having a Bad Day?

Parents angry at you? Phone broken? Dog die? Friends angry at you? Upset in general? Well here are a few things to be grateful for, and think about instead. <3
-music
-poetry
-glowsticks
-sleeping in
-snickers bars
-stars
-sunstes
-sunrises
-possibilities
-being silly
-beautiful dreams
-enchanted places
-dr.pepper
-bestfriends
-swings
-making plans
-making friends
-making memories
-surprises
-sunshine
-rainy days
-passing notes
-taking pictures
-city skylines
-rollercoasters
-chai tea
-small towns
-road trips
-building sand castles
-writing
-big hugs
-fireflies
-laughing
-anything watermelon flavored
-adventures
-purple highlighters
-air conditioning
-good health
-blue skies
-nail polish
-leaves in the fall
-secret crushes
-bubble baths
-sleeping in
-learning new things
-fresh cut flowers
-happily-ever-afters. :)

We've Cracked the Relationship Timeline!

Kayla Travis has it down to a science. Did you even know that almost all relationships follow a basic timeline? Seriously, as you're reading this, think of all of the realtionships you've seen and participated in.  You will be amazed. I'm going to do this in increments of weeks, but depending on you personally, or the situation, it can quite easily be converted to days or months.
DAY ONE- The realtionship begins.
WEEK ONE- An extremely awkward period.You're figruing out boundaries and things, and getting used to being in the realtionship in general. However, regardless of how awkward it is, you are enthralled with the new relationship.
WEEKS TWO TO FIVE- This is the 'honeymoon' phase. Your boyfriend/girlfriend is absoltely perfect. You say you'll never want anyone else and usually start claiming you're in love.
WEEKS FIVE-SIX- At this point, you begin to figure out qualities about your significant other that seriously annoy you. However. you still "love" them, so you overlook these flaws.
WEEK SEVEN- These flaws seriously start to grate on your nerves. You may have arguments with your boyfriend/girlfriend and at least consider breaking up with them.
WEEK EIGHT- This is the major turning point of the realtionship. The aforestated flaws generally either trigger the breakup, or far less often, you learn to overlook them or learn to live with them. If your relationship falls into the second category, congratulations! You've offically moved past the Realtionship Timeline and into something that might actually last for a while.
If you think about it, most highschool relationships fit into this timeline and these stages. SO, next time something's going on in your relationship, consider the timeline. Don't be confused, be aware. :D

Why NOT to stress out over things you really can't control.

So, I felt like writing a new blog, and the first subject that came to me is stress in people's life. Stress is today's expression of the previous millenium's 'fight or flight' response- basically, your body and brain are recieving mass amounts of adrenaline and other chemicals. Obviously, this was useful back in the day when you were being chased by a bear, but, again, obviously, you weren't chased by a bear every day. Your body wasn't made to get huge doses of these chemichals on a regular basis. These chemicals were made to ensure your immediate safety- which means everything else (growth, reproduction, the immune system, blood flow to the skin) goes on hold. As you can see by the importance of these "on hold" areas, repeated and long term exposure to these chemicals can seriously damage your health. So why are we as a society always so stressed out over thigs that we can't control? Take these for example.
1. (my favorite<3) TRAFFIC. Look, you're stuck bumper to bumper, you can't get through... so why get mad? You can't drive through the cars. Just turn on your radio, and smile. Enjoy the weather, make up a story in your head, something. There's nothing you can do, so why get mad?
2. POLITICS. You voted, right? Well you've done just about everything you can do within reason, unless you want to get out and run for office yourself, or start a massive movement. Again, just smile. A positive outlook can do wonders. Just try to do the best you can with your family and your values.
3. ANYTHING SOMEONE ELSE SAYS TO YOU. Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. You will not change someone else's opinon, you just won't. So don't freak out about a rude comment or pushiness or a different opinion. It's just a bunch of sound waves in your ear. SMILE and go about your day. Even if this person is someone you love and respect, if they are treating you badly, it means that they are unhappy. That doesn't mean you have to be.
And those are just examples. Deepak Chopra has some really great advice. If you feel upset or stressed, STOP and think about it. What's REALLY making you unhappy? If it's something you can't change anyway, look at it with a positive point of view. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it can do wonders. I mean, don't get me wrong, there's more than likely going to be stress in your life. But here's a good indicator of if you have too much: you can be whatever during the day, but if you come home in the evenings and go to bed stressed out, you're pushing it. You need to be able to recenter and be happy and calm for a period each day- that happiness and calmness needs to be what is your base, your foundation for life. NOT stress. You aren't just damaging yourself mentally, you're doing serious harm to yourself physically. So my challenge to YOU is to stop and think next time you're stressed about something- it could change your outlook on life.

My Newest Roommate.

You can player hate
On my new room mate. <3
Well, excuse the lame rap rhyme. but legit, this is working out wonderfully. I couldn't have asked for anyone cooler. :D We're getting into a routine, with walking and shopping and cooking and sleeping. You know, some people would think it's lame to have your grandmother living with you, but I think it's GREAT. No lies. <3 But anyway, I can't seem to get my internet connection working again, so I'm still camped out in the office.
Today's lesson is on drama. And no, I do not mean the good kind, with stage right and masks and lines. I'm talking about the miserable, fighting with your friends, making new enemies drama.
It's not worth it.
The people in your life causing drama aren't worth it.
You, however ARE worth it.
You're worth living a life with a low stress level, lots of friends, and plenty of happiness. Get rid of people causing drama. You will feel so much better.

Here is me, boring you with a post about my week that I'm sure you don't really care about. (with a short life lesson at the end)

So, it's 9 pm and I SHOULD be doing homework, and I will be in a short moment, but I am allowing myself 15 minutes to blog about recent happenings in life. <3 I KNOW that with all day to think about it, I should have a ridiculously wonderful and life changing lesson to give you, but really? It's been an extra long week- it's been an extra long day. Not complaining by any means, I'm the best one off at my house. Mom's sick, Justin's sick, Lamont's stressed, and well, Jordan may be okay, I'm not quite sure at the moment. We just got done with some cleaning and some readjusting- I have a new roommate! Introducing, my woderful Memaw! I'm gonna finish up my homework, then maybe watch a movie with her? We'll see, we'll see. :) My interweb isn't working, so I'm on my mom's computer, btw. Not sure why that matters, BUT HEY.  Drama auditions for the christmas show were today- I'd bet you five hundred dollars I will be cast as the ditz. I always have been, ever since seventh grade. It was the first part I read, and it just looks as though it's the one everyone was impressed with. Typecasting?! I think not. But hey- I play a stupid girl, I ask a stupid question. What am I supposed to do, look smart? Apparently not. But anyway, since I have started typing, I have come up with my epic lesson. It's not really mine, actually, to be honest, I'm borrowing from Dr.Shaw. But here are some tips for driving that you should ALWAYS FOLLOW.
1. DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. Texting while driving is the equivalent of having four beers and getting behind the wheel. It's not just affecting you, it's affecting other people.
2. NEVER USE CRUISE CONTROL IN THE RAIN. You have an infinitely greater chance of hydroplaning, which I'm assuming is something you want to avoid.
3. GO AHEAD AND HIT THE DEER. If you swerve to the left, you swerve into oncoming traffic. Swerve to the right, you hit a fence or a tree or a telephone pole or you fall down an embankment. Slam on your breaks the best you possibly can, but just hit it if you have to.
And there is your epic life lesson for today. I should have a better one by tommrow, when I have time to work on my OWN LAPTOP. Love to you all. <3