(: dad will be by in about half an hour. i wonder where we'll end up this time? we're free spirits- one time we ended up in nyc. 3 days, a TON of driving. but incredible. (: probably won't be that far this time, because i have to be back thursday for an acda thing, but still somewhere interesting. i love travelling- i love seeing new places and experiencing new things. a dream of mine is to take a year after i graduate college and just go places. sort of like eat pray love, just discover myself. see the world by myself, and go places where no one knows me- where no one has any expectations. i feel so often like i end up molding myself to whoever i'm with, and while it's actually a useful skill to have, it's not always good. i need to be myself sometimes, not what other people want to see. and i feel like i can do that while i'm away from home. don't get me wrong. i love all of my friends and family, so much. and i love spending time with them. it's not their fault i mold- that's just my natural instinct. but there was this book i read, shift. it talked about going away for a while- not forever, but long enough so that no matter where you are, you can be the best, most real version of yourself. and i like that. i want that. because in reality, i am so, so, so vulnerable. i think everyone is, to a extent. things hurt us a great deal more than we let on. litte things, probably more than big things.we have to figure out ways to shield ourselves- some more than others. and temporary shields don't work. we end up hurting or confusing ourselves even more. that's why people go on soul searching journeys, like the one i want. to discover the part of themselves that's stronger than what people say or do. the part that's stronger than anything that happens. the part that says "it's going to get better." i don't know, i just wanted to ramble a bit before i leave, and this is what's on my mind.
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