Eating disorders. I have a very personal interest in this topic, for reasons not to be discussed, but I've felt like writing about it for a while. Not really the scientific aspect of it- most of us have a vague idea about that part of it anyway. You know, all the typical stuff: starving yourself, eating large amounts of food and throwing it up, it can kill you, etc. etc. No, what I want to talk about is the emotional aspect. I've been totally surprised when I talk to people about eating disorders. Most of them immediately conclude that the person doing it is doing it purely to lose weight, and they're totally crazy. I mean, the complete lack of understanding shocks me. I've heard people say that these people are stupid, even. So much of a joke has been made about them in the media and such that it makes people suffering seem totally narcissistic, stuck up, crazy people. OKAY, REALITY CHECK TIME. There are currently around 8 million Americans that suffer from an eating disorder. 1 in 10 of these is a male. Many people suffering from an eating disorder may not actually be underweight at all- they may be very average- looking (although this doesn't mean that their health is not in extreme danger). This is because eating disorders are not a diet fad- they're a real mental disorder. Seriously, eating disorders aren't really a problem with food. In all eating disorders, all of the focus is put on food to avoid dealing with painful thoughts or emotions. There's a few variations on this. Some people are affected because they feel like it gives them a feeling of control- like if they can't control any external circumstances, they can control what happens to their own body. If they can't control what other people do and say to them, they can control themselves. Yet another outlook is from a self-hatred standpoint. Many people who suffer from an eating disorder carry a deep self loathing. You might not see it, because they probably try to pass it off. But in this case, their eating disorder is a form of self harm, much as cutting or burning themselves is. They may feel as though they aren't good enough or can't perform up to standard- they basically feel worthless. Another variation is the release of stress or anxiety. I can't explain this one quite as well, because it's difficult for most people who don't have an eating disorder to understand. However, I'll do my best. For those with eating disorders, there's a sense of perceived calm that comes with every skipped meal, or after every purge. It's a rush of success, if you will. They feel like they've accomplished what they've set out to do, and it temporarily relieves the stress for them.
The next part of this blog is a questionnaire, if you will. It's a checklist for people with an eating disorder. This is an exceptionally accurate list- it's how they really feel. This is their life. These are the thoughts that occupy a huge majority of their mind. So if you hear about someone suffering from an eating disorder, maybe you can be a tad more sympathetic than "you're stupid." Because that kind of attitude is exactly why some people don't get help-they're afraid of ridicule.
(note: this is just the feelings portion of the survey. if you want to see the behavior and physical symptoms portions, click here: http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/questionnaire.php)
QUESTIONS:
-Are you a perfectionist, a person who always wants to be in control, an overachiever and/or do you think no matter what you do it is never enough?
-Do you find that you seek or desire acceptance and/or approval from people, and/or that you have a hard time saying "no"?
-Do you find that you are always questioning your own judgements and/or actions, and/or do you scrutinize yourself over small faults?
-Do you think you are not good enough, stupid and/or worthless or that people are always judging you in a negative way?
-Do you hide your feelings and/or opinions from people for fear of being judged negatively, and/or do you feel like a burden to others with your problems?
-Within your family and/or circle of friends are you considered "the strong one" who everyone will come to with problems, and/or you never seem to talk much about your own?
-Do you think life would be better and/or people would like you more if you were thin/thinner?
-Do you find yourself often comparing your appearance and weight to others, strangers and/or models and actors, and wishing to be as "nice looking" or as "thin" as they are?
-Do you continuously feel that you are overweight even though others have told you that you are not?
-Do family members and/or friends often express concern for your weight-loss/gain, your appearance, and/or your eating habits?
-Do you think everyone's problems are more important then your own, or do you belittle your own emotions and pain?
-Do you often feel numb or empty inside, like your life lacks fulfillment and happiness, like something is missing or there is a void inside?
-Do you feel as though you have a "conscience" or "voice" that tells you negative things about yourself, convinces you that you do not deserve to eat and/or to be happy, or that tells you that you are or deserve to be fat and ugly?
-Examining yourself and how you feel, do you believe that you may suffer from Anorexia, Bulimia or Compulsive Overeating, or any combination of the three?
-Do you suffer from bouts of depression, hopelessness, and/or lack of motivation; and/or do you find your own problems overwhelming and hard to handle?
-Are you depressed, suicidal, stressed-out, and/or fatigued; and/or do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, mood swings, rage and/or insomnia.
-Have you ever been diagnosed with clinical depression, attentive deficit disorder, manic depression, bipolar II disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or dissociative identity disorder, or any other psychological/neurological illness?
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